Tales of the Dead
by Mldmd
Summary: "Jason's death is bigger than I thought, bigger than I could have ever imagined" his voice is panic stricken as his eyes fill with unshed tears as they desperately beg her to understand."Sam.." her voice shakes as she says his name,she not sure what he asking from her but she doesn't like it one bit. "I got to do this on my own"He hates himself for hurting her like this."I'm sorry"
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Hello there, thanks for reading, I just want to get a few things out of the way. First off, this story has been floating around in my head for about a year, I started writing it along time ago and just recently came back to it. The story isn't complete yet but i have a rough idea as to how I want this to go and how I want this to play out. I wasn't going to post it until it was complete but I feel if I posted this now I would motivate me to continue writing this instead of abandoning it all over again. I apologizes this first chapter is not my favorite, I tried to give a lot of back stories so you can get a greater sense of the characters but going back and fourth between present day and the past may be confusing for some. I apologize. It might help you to understand this story better if you go back and read my other stories called _I told you I'd always be here,_ and _Its not what you think_. Both these stories will give you a little background on Jess and may help you to understand this story a little better. You can understand it just fine without read those stories but it might help.. Also I promise there is Jules and Sam in this story, you just have to be patient okay?  
**

**I also would like to put it out there that i do not have a beta reader so the only person that looked this over is me, ****so sorry if there are mistakes** . Also I have a disability when it come writing so my grammar is not the best, I apologize. Review are loved and greatly appreciated.  


**I own nothing but the idea for the story  
**

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Sam rolled over grabbed his pillow and covered his face with it in attempt to drown out the sound of his cell phone.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Sam groaned and rolled over again glancing at the clock,_ seriously? 2 in the morning! _He closed his eyes and reached out for his phone to answer it._ Swear to god whoever had the nerve to call him at this hour was going to pay big-_

"Sam?" the voice was distressed, he was barely able to understand her though her sobs. Sam immediately opened his eyes siting up in the bed.

"Sarah?" his voice was full of concern. Any thoughts he had of going back to sleep quickly banished from his mind. This wasn't like Sarah, she wouldn't call at this hour unless something was really wrong. "Sarah what's wrong? Where are you?"

She was crying and her voice was shaking so bad it was hard to understand her but she managed to speak between the sobs "The Hospital"

_The Hospital? no,no,no,no. The only reason that Sarah would be a complete wreck and at the hospital was if-_

"Sarah, Where is Jason? Sarah, is Jason ok?" His voice was panic stricken. Her sobs increased and Sam closed his eyes fighting back tears. _God please no. He was home; he was supposed to be safe._ "Sarah?" his voiced cracked.

"H-H-He's gone."

Sam swallowed hard. Jason Moore had been one of the men he served with while overseas. Shortly after Sam left on leave to visit his sick great grandmother during his first tour, Jason had gotten hurt during an operation, when Sam herd about it, he immediately headed over to Sarah 's house to check on her to see if she was ok. When she asked why he would do something like that, especially because he had only meet her twice in passing, he look at her and smiled,

_"I know how important you are to Jason. Plus I know if the roles were reverse he do the same cause it's just what we do, we look out for our own."_

_"Am I really that important to him?" She questioned doubt written all over her face. Sam snorted. _

_"Are you kidding he never shuts up about you, like seriously, I don't think there is a person in Kandahar that doesn't know you two are dating, not to mention that our team probably knows WAY more about your personal life then you would ever be comfortable with."_

He doesn't know why or how but Sarah became a big part of their little JTF-2 group after that, everyone on JTF-2 loves her, they all used to write her letters complaining about her boyfriend, she used to write back with the best remarks. He will never forget the time that Matt wrote to Sarah telling her that she need to make Jason stop drooling over her picture because frankly, it was getting obsessive. Her reply:

_Sorry Matt, he'll stop dreaming about me when you stop dreaming about Jess which sadly won't happen anytime soon, so I suggest you sticking to bunking with Sam._

_ -Sarah_

_ The guys hounded Matt for weeks about that and his response to the jokes was the same damn thing every time… "Not my fault she is gorgeous, inside and out" every frickin time. He can still remember doing restock with Matt and Jason and Matt saying it without a sweat, almost like he knew Jess was special. _

_"Not my fault she is gorgeous, inside and out" _

_Jason who was behind Matt turned to Sam made gesture as if he was going to puke and Sam snorted. _

_"Matt, you better watch out your starting to sound like Mr. Moore over there." Sam joked._

_"Yeah Matt you better be careful or might end up getting tied down." Jason added. They were teasing of course but Sam couldn't help but feel there was an element of truth behind their words, that maybe there was something rare and special between Jess and Matt, like Jason and Sarah. Maybe just maybe Jess was it for Matt, maybe she was __**the one**__. Which was kind of a strange thought considering Matt was his partner and crime when it came to picking up the ladies and Jess and Matt had only been dating for 3 months. But if Sam was honest with himself, Jess and Matt had been fighting their feeling for a lot longer than that._

_"Speaking of Sarah and getting tied down, I was wondering if you guys would help me."_

_ "With what?" the two best friends replied amused. Jason didn't ask for help often. _

_"Asking her to marry me?" He said timidly as he smiled slowly looking over toward them. Sam and Matt both immediately stopped what they were doing to look up at him. Smiles broke out across their faces; Matt slapped Jason on the back attacking him in a bear Hug._

_"That a boy"_

_"My god Jay, only took you 20 frickin years! I was starting to think you were only dating her because you know we would kick your ass if you hurt her." Sam said as he made his way towards Jason to giving him a friendly jab in the arm. Matt rolled his eyes at Sam and turned towards Jason._

_"What Sam really means to say is that we approve of your choice and of course we will help you."_

Shit. Had that really been 9 years ago? Where the hell had time gone? Felt like just yesterday Jason, him and Matt were having that conversation. And now they could never have that conversation again about Jules or Jess or anyone, because they were gone. Matt and Jason were both gone. Sam swallowed hard, tears flowing freely from his eyes. Minutes passes as Sam focused on trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"Sarah," His voice was barley a whisper "Sarah It's going to be ok."

"I need him" she confessed and it broke his heart, _why did Jason have to go now?_

* * *

Sam glanced at himself in the Mirror he looked like hell but considering he only got 4 hours of sleep he looked pretty decent. Last night was hell. Once he finally calmed Sarah down enough to tell him which hospital she was at, he told her not to worry, that he be there shortly. After he hung up the phone he ran around the house like a mad man getting everything he would need. While he was looking for his car keys he called Sarah back.

"Sarah, I'm walking out the door now."

"Sam?" The voice was soft and sad but it was not the sobbing mess he had talk to minutes before.

"Jess?" ok now he was confused _how on earth did Jess get Sarah's phone?_

"Yeah it's me."

"Jess, where's Sarah?"

"She fell asleep in the chair, I think today really wore her out"Jess's voice was neutral but anyone could hear the underlying concern she had. He doesn't know why he's so shocked. Jess was the heart of the team, she held them together though the toughest times, of course Jess would be there for Sarah, it's what Jason would have wanted. Not to mention that it was Jess who introduced Sarah and Jason. Sarah and Jess had met at an old family friend's party when she was on leave. About 2 months later the team was sitting round the debrief table making fun of Jason because the little 6 year old girl who they help rescue was in love with him. They stared calling her the 'future Mrs. Moore', so in turn topic turned to the perfect 'Mrs. Moore'. Everyone took their turn imputing what they thought the perfect woman for Jason would be like, some joking, others serious. When they finally finish Jess just snorted and laughed.

"_Sounds like this girl I know."_

_"Who?" Jason asked curious to see if he knew the girl. The team all turned to her giving her there undivided attention, and she rolled her eyes._

_"Calm down none of you know her."the guys stared at her blankly waiting for her to continue, clearly the weren't going to let this go. _

_ "You know what, I shouldn't have said anything." she said getting up from the table and started walking toward the tents exit and that's when the uproar started._

_"You can't leave now! Poor Jason wants to hear about his future wife."_

_"Yeah Jess how could you do that to him?"_

_"At least tell us if she's hot!"_

_Jess smiled these guys were so predictable and as annoying as they were, they were all like family to her._

_"Goodnight Boys" she said with her back to them as she continued to walk away._

_"Oh Come on Jess! the lest you can do is tell us her name."_

_"Yeah, come on Jess what's the harm?"_

_She opened the door and looked back at her team who was all staring at her with puppy dog eyes and sighed._

_"Sarah. Her name is Sarah" _

_Thus started the guy's curiosity about the chick named Sarah. Who was she? Blond? Brunette? Red head? Was she Hot? Good in bed? Jess told them to just drop it and leave the poor girl alone, which only fueled the guys more. When Jess wouldn't give out personal intimate deals on her friend's life the guys all started creating their own ridiculous stories about what Sarah was really like. Finally after 2 months of creative stories and the guys bugging the shit out of her, Jess finally caved and made them a deal. If they promised to do her part of the restock for 3 weeks, she would let them met her when they went on leave. So 2 weeks later at a bar on base Jason met Sarah, and the rest is history. _

"When did you get there?"

"I've been with her all night, minus the past 45 minutes, which is when I'm guessing she called you… they need someone to ID his body and Sarah just couldn't do it…" He could hear the stain in her voice, and Sam mentally slapped himself. How could he be so stupid, Jason might have been Sarah's Husband, but Jason was like a brother to Jess and she just identified his **dead** body.

"Jess..." His voice was soft "I'm sorry, I didn't even think…I'm sorry. How are you holding up?"

"Hey, shhhh it's not your fault Sam, We're all tired," her tone was soft and reassuring.

He shook his head typical Jess always putting others before herself. One night when she was almost too drunk to stand he asked her why. Why she always put others needs before her own. Why she always put_ him _first. She simply turned to him and laughed.

"_Sam don't be silly you know why." She said with an eye roll taking another sip of her beer and Sam gave her look._

_"I'm serious Jess."_

_"So am I" she leaned in close to him and mirrored his serious tone and facial expressions, when he didn't crack a smile and call her a jackass her face softened and she let out a breath._

_ "Look Sam," she soften her tone trying to find a way to explain it to him without making him feel guilty. "It's the same reason you would jump on a live grenade if we were in a crowded room and you saw it…. It just the kind of person you are… and putting other first, It's who I am, it's what I do." She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath leaning back away from Sam. Her next words came out in a soft quiet shaky breath "It's why he feel in love with me." _

_Her voice cracked at the end and she swallowed hard and he knew she wasn't going to say anything more but she didn't have to, he herd what she didn't say. __**She did it for Matt**__. She put other first not only because it was the type of person she was but because when she did she could hear Matt in her head saying how proud he was of her. It was like a punch in the gut, as if he didn't already feel guilty enough… He felt like an ass wanted to say something wanted to apologize and beg for forgiveness but before he could even formulate the words she threatened him. _

_"Don't," she warned "Don't you dare apologize Sam or I swear to god I'll kill you. It was not your fault; I would know, I was there." Although she was drunk and she was swaying from side to side about to fall over she left no room to ague so it he agreed and let it go._

Sam let out a breath turning to his left to stare at the picture he had hanging on the wall of Matt, Jess,and him from their First tour.

"Jess..." he dragged out her name his voice was raw and full of emotion as he stared down the picture of her. Almost as if begging her picture would help get her to open up.

"Don't Sam," she begged "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine, it's just hard, I mean seeing Sarah in so much pain and not being able to do a damn thing about it…plus seeing Jason…..I mean I know know he is gone but seeing him look like **that…**…" Her voice cracked and trailed off. "I'm just glad Sarah didn't see him."

"What do you mean? What's wrong with his body?"

"Sam?" she breathes out his name in almost a whisper. She sounded just as confused as him. It was quite for a few seconds until Jess spoke softly "She didn't tell you, how Jason died did she?"

He was about to open his mouth to tell her that of course he knew how Jason died but he shut it, because he realized he didn't know. Not because he is a bad friend, simply because as soon as Sarah told him Jason was gone, the how was never his focus, making sure Sarah was okay was, because that's what would have mattered to Jason.

"No, no she didn't" he said rubbing his hand over his face as he slowly sat down onto the couch.

Jess sighed. "Car accident, really nasty, they said Jason was going around 95 mph when the car flipped…cops don't know the whole story…." she trailed off again, if asked why she would say it's from lack of info, doesn't want to tell him anything that isn't true. But honestly he knows what she is thinking about, she is thinking that after 9 months in Afghanistan, she though she and the team would be safe when they came back home. Car accidents, sure they happen to _everyday _people but they were different,_ they_ had survived 3 tours in Afghanistan, they should be safe here in Canada, but today just proved they weren't.

"I'm on my way." he said moving his hand from his face to his thigh if effort to stand up and leave but her words stopped him before he even left the couch.

"Sam don't be ridiculous you have work in less than 4 hours." She leaned her head back in the waiting room chair running her hand up across her forehead and though her hair and Sam could tell she was making he her famous "don't be an idiot face" just by the tone of her voice.

"Jess-"His voice tone was accusing but she cut him off.

"Sam seriously, don't argue with me, there is nothing you can do. I'm going to take Sarah over to my place tonight, she will stay with me and we will figure funeral arrangements and everything else in the morning." Almost as if she could read Sam's mind and know he wasn't totally convinced she emphasized her point again. "Seriously Sam, there nothing you can do to help right now, the best thing for you to do is get some sleep you're going to need it."

Sam sighed he hated when she was right.

"Keep me updated?"

"Always Sam"

* * *

_Ding dong._

The sound of the doorbell made Sam snap out of his thoughts. One more glace in the mirror at his rough appearance and he grab his shirt and pulled it on over his head as he made his way to the door. Hopefully whoever was at the door wouldn't take up too much of his time, he was planning to stop at Timmy's for his coffee and breakfast and after a night like last night he'd be damned if he didn't get it. He pulled open the door to see none other than his beautiful, petite, bad ass girlfriend standing in front of him with a tray of 2 coffees in one hand and a brown paper bag filled with bagels in the other. She smiled up at him. _What the hell was she doing here?_ he tSRU had a training seminar out in Montreal, and commander Halloran had specifically asked Jules to go because she was well rounded in all the aspects of the SRU. She left on Friday morning and shouldn't be back till Thursday, it was only Tuesday, that he was positive of, he had been counting down the days till she got back. His face must have looked like a confused lost puppy because Jules snorted and busted out laughing at him.

"Surprise." he could see the twinkle in her eyes "Miss me?"

"How did you-" he asked puzzled. He was still in shock, still couldn't believe that she was really there, but before he could get the question out, before he could wrap his mind around the fact that she here in Toronto and not in Montreal she cut him off.

"You look like shit," she teased taking a half a step forward closing some of the distance between them. "Good thing the seminar let out early, I think you would've fallen apart without me"

She's joking he knows that, _hell_ he can hear the flirting undertone in her voice, but_ God_. After last night, just knowing she is_ here and safe_ with him, it's all that matters_._ Because it could have been _her_ who got into that car accident last night and it could be _him_ planning the funeral, not Sarah. It took every bit of self-restraint to not call her after he got off the phone with Jess. Only reason he didn't was because he knew she needed to be well rested and on her A game at the seminar. The shock is finally starting to wear off as he takes the coffee and bagels from her and places them on the table next to the door never breaking eye contact with her. And before she even knows what happening he pulls her from her spot at the door and into him as one of his hands makes it way to her back while the other guides her head towards his. His mouth finds hers and he kisses her like he has never kissed her before. The kiss is demanding and hard yet soft and tender all at the same time. She melts against him as her hands snake their way up his body to loop around his neck. She clings to him and kisses him back with just as much passion. The kiss is desperate and hungry, she taste so good he's not sure he wants to let her go, not sure he can. After a minute they finally break apart knowing that if they don't stop now, it will lead to other activities, which in turn would make them late for work, which is _not_ an option, no matter how much he wants it to be. There both breathing heavy as his forehead rests on hers, she's still clinging to him and there almost no space between them.

"Mhmmm. Maybe I should go away more often" she teases.

"No you shouldn't" Her smile quickly banishes from her face, when he doesn't tease her back, only closed his eyes shaking his head as he tightened his arms around her waist. Something is clearly wrong, she can tell.

"Sam?" her face and voice are full of worry. Her hands travel towards his face cupping it in her hands "Sam, what's wrong?"

He opens his eyes to stare at her frantic concerned ones.

"Sarah called last night" He confesses "She was at the hospital, Jason was in a car accident. He…He didn't make it" His voice cracked getting quitter and smaller towards the end.

"Oh my god…" Her hand leaves his face to cover her mouth, only to return to his neck a few second later when she clings to him in a tight hug. She buries her face in chest but not before he sees the wave of grief sweep across her face. She feels awful; she can't even begin to imagine what Sarah is going through. Although she hangs out with Sarah from time to time, she has only meet Jason twice, at the JTF-2 reunions. Sam jokes all the time saying that he should stop coming when they make plans with Sarah because Sarah and her always end up going off without him. Not that he minds,_ hell_ he's glad Sarah and his JTF-2 team not only _approve_ of Jules but_ adore_ her. Still as much as Jules gets along with Sarah, it's nothing compared to how close she is with Jess, those two are practically attached at the hip. He still _**really **_owes god for that. Doesn't really know what he would do if Jess and her didn't get along.

"Sam, I'm so sorry." her face is in the crook of his neck and he can feel the tears in his eyes. She can't see them, but she knows they're there. She doesn't call him out on it, or tell him that it's okay to cry, simply close her eyes and continues hugs him. He is grateful for it, while he has no problem giving the the whole 'it's okay to cry' speech, he can't handle receiving it, he wasn't raised that way, she knows that. Never told her, she just figured it out, it's why they work. Her voice is soft, doesn't wanna cause him more pain but she has to ask.

"When is the funeral?"

He cringes, just like he did this morning when Jess called and told him the date. This is what he wanted to avoid. Doesn't wanna say it. Doesn't think he can handle losing Jason and having Jules mad at him at the same time. He buries his head in her hair and sighs.

"Friday."

Friday. Friday as in _this _Friday, the one there _supposed_ to spend celebrating their anniversary. Technically, there anniversary was last Thursday but with a hectic work schedule and Jules being sent away for the seminar, this Friday was the first time they could actually celebrate. They both agreed that come hell or high water, Friday was date night, just the two of them, no exceptions. Told her for this year's anniversary he was treating her to a fancy dinner with candles, red wine, the whole 9 yards. He even got a reservation at Crystal Springs, one of the most elegant restaurants in all of Toronto. She protested saying he didn't have to spend that kind of money on her, he told her not to worry about the cost that she was worth it. She would _always_ be worth it. She will never admit to it but she's excited, practically counting down the days till Friday. He doesn't go all out for her all the time, not because he doesn't want to simply because Jules doesn't allow him to. He'd buy her the world if she let him, but she would much rather have him save his money. She's fine with staying at home and just ordering a pizza, because to her it doesn't matter if there in a fancy restaurant, at Timmy's, or at home curled up the couch. She loves_ him_, not the fancy dinners, not the expensive wine, _him_. So as long as _he's_ there, she doesn't care where they go or what they do. After a long debate Jules finally got him to agree to her ways but with one exception, he was allowed to go all out for special occasions, _like Friday_. Stupid Friday, promised her they would do whatever she wanted, well looks like he's breaking his promise to her. But wait, it gets better. She bought a new dress, won't let him see, wants it to be a surprise, well looks like that's not happening, _why you as? _Because he is frickin breaking off the date. He's an asshole to put it lightly; he deserves to die a slow painful death.

But she doesn't scream, kick his ass for breaking the date, instead she relaxes in his arms. Some of the tension that has been in her since he told her about Jason fades. She pulls back out of his embrace and walks over to grab her phone off the table by the door, to confirm what she believes their work schedule for the coming week is.

"Ok good, we don't have work on Saturday morning, so we can leave on Friday in the morning and stay the night," She concludes, there is no trace of anger, resentment, or hurt in her voice, just relief. Relief that they can both go to the funeral together. Relieved that she can be there for Sarah _and him_. Relived that she won't have to sit a work and wonder if he is _really_ okay. She knows he's a big boy and can take care of himself, but that doesn't stop her from worrying. After his sister died, he learned how to put on a brave face, and how to appear okay when he really wasn't. It's the reason why he holds everything in, why he refuses to let others see him cry. Why he doesn't want to appear weak. He has hard time letting people in, tends to push people away when things get tough, afraid that if there to close to him, they might see though his façade. It took a while but Jules finally broke through his façade, and now she sees what none one else can, the fear, the broken heart, the sadness. Knowing she is one of the only ones who can see it, only fuels her instincts to make sure his is okay for herself and not take someone else's word.

"That is unless you want to be there early," her eyes are still glued to the phone. "In that case we can leave Thursday night after work an-"

Doesn't even finish her sentence, before he grabs her and kisses her. This kiss is full passion; Sam uses the kiss to tell her everything he can't find the words for. Like how amazingly perfect she is for not even mad about Friday in the slightest, how he just pulled the most dick-headed move on earth, and she just dismissed it as nothing. How He is so frickin relived she isn't mad, how grateful he is that she understands, how lucky he is that she is his girlfriend and not somebody else's. He already loves her more than anything in the universe and he just fell more in love with her, he did even think that was humanly possible. He wants to tell her all this but he doesn't know how, so instead he pours every bit of emotion he is feeling into the kiss. The kiss catches her off guard, but she quickly recovers and kisses him back, for she feels what he trying to convey. Before she even knows what's happening he has her pined against the wall while one of her hands frames his face with the other is in his hair gripping it, pulling him closer_. Typically_ this would be the time when he would slip his hand down her waist, to her ass and seamlessly lift her into the air as she wrapped her legs around him, and he would lead them towards the bedroom,_ typically_. _However this time_ his hands slid down her body to rest on her hips as he slowly leaned back breaking the kiss. He closes his eyes and stares down at her as he shakes his head.

"You should be pissed at me." He whispers, his tone is not accusing at all, it sounds more like he is simply stating a fact.

"That's a matter of option." she breaths out breathless looking up at him. Her brain is not really up for mind games right now. Right now all she wants is to make sure he's okay, to make sure he isn't going to push her away, just wants him to know she's always going to be there no matter what, because there is no place she would rather be. And after that kiss, being mad at him is the furthest thing from her mind. He looks away closes his eyes and sighs.

"Friday was supposed to be our night and I jus-"

"Do you think that matters?" She cuts him off in a soft gentle tone. Her hand reaches up to crease his face as she says it bringing his face so he looking directly at her. When he doesn't respond she sighs and he opens his eyes to look down into her brown ones.

"Sam it's not like you wanted to ruin our plans for Friday, things just happened. Things that were out of our control." She emphasizes her last sentence just in case he was still viewing this as his fault. "Plus were not braking the plans, were just changing them around a little bit" she smiles at him as he reaches up his hand to run his fingers though her hair.

"But you been looking forward to this all week, you even bought a dress and-"

"I'll use the dress the next time we have date night" she concludes, cutting him off once again, pausing to soften her tone. "Sam, I know you wanted Friday to be a night about us and our love for one and other, and now it's not. But I promise that night _will happen,_ maybe not Friday like we planned, but someday soon, I'm counting on that. So yeah it might not be at crystal springs like you had planned, but so what, who cares? As long as were together, that's all that matters."

He stares down at her with nothing but pure love, looking directly into her eyes as his hands framed her face.

"You're amazing you know that? I don't deserve at all" he moves his forehead rest against her's as he speaks "I love you so much Jules, So much." His voice cracked at the end and she leaned up to kiss him.

"I love you too Sam."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Hi guys thanks for reading! Just wanted to apologizes I do not have a lot of free time to write because of school but I promise I will try to update when I can. **

** I would like to put it out there that i do not have a beta reader so the only person that looked this over is me, ****so sorry if there are mistakes** . Also I have a disability when it come writing so my grammar is not the best, I apologize. Review are loved and greatly appreciated.  


**I own nothing but the idea for the story.**

* * *

The funeral is massive, a sea of camouflage, full of current and ex-Military officers. Honestly it doesn't surprise her Jason was just that type of person, caring, friendly, easy to get along with, even she's upset that he is gone and she's only met him twice. It's strange seeing Sam in his old JTF-2 uniform, she always knew he was a solider, always pictured him as one, but now he actually looks like one. It's strange. Just before he leaves to go help carry Jason's casket he gives her hand a squeeze, it is his way of letting her know just how much he appreciates her being there, and just how much he loves her.

"I heard that their anniversary is in a week, poor girl, I can't even imagine what Sarah must be going though. It just goes to show you that you never know when you can lose someone."

Jules over hears the comment of the older woman sitting behind her and it makes her shift uncomfortably. It's stupid she knows but without Sam there she can't help but feel empty. Jules isn't good with death, never was, never will be. She's always been afraid to need someone because needing someone can only lead to heart break when the world takes them from you. At least that's what she used to think, but to be fair she had a right. Her mom died at 16 and she could barely cope, she lost the one person in the world that meant the most to her. Jules pulled herself together with the help of her best friend, Abby. Abby was the first person she let in since her mom died and she lost her just 2 short years later at the age 18. It's why Jules has her walls up; it's why she has always had them up. But meaning to or not Sam broke though those walls, he worked his way right into her heart and made himself right at home. And now Jules needs him and that thought alone is enough to scare the shit out of her. Just the thought of losing him send shivers down her spine. That's why whenever she hears a comment like that she always subconsciously reaches out for a physical connection with Sam; sometimes she grabs his hand, other times is putting her head on his shoulder, occasionally she touches his arm, but whatever she decides his touch always grounds her. Let's her know he still alive, that he is going anywhere anytime soon, and that she won't have to face that kind of heart ache all over again.

She looks up to see Sam Jess and a bunch of the other JTF-2 guys come in with the casket and help lower it into the ground. She hears the gun shot solute go off and the preacher speaking but what hurts the most is hearing Sarah cry. Sarah is a strong girl and she held it together until they started to lower him into the ground. As soon as the preacher stops talking Jess walks right up to Sarah and hugs her tells her to sit before her legs give out. Jess glance up and her eyes lock with Jules for a split second, but that split second is all it takes and Jules nods her head. She understands. Why Jules can see though Sam and understand where his thoughts are going after a short conversation, Jess can read him like the back of her hand and know what he is thinking by simply looking at him. And after seeing Sam up close Jess and her have come to the same conclusion, Sam is fine; he just should not be left alone right now.

She heads off to go find him but she doesn't have to go far for he is walking straight towards her. When they reach each other he reaches out his hand to grab hers. He opens his mouth like he going to speak but closes it again. He does it several times for he isn't sure what to say, _Thank you for being here? Sorry I'm not ready to talk cause just can't process my emotions right now? I love you?_

_"I…"_

"I Know" she says pulling him close into a hug.

* * *

After the funeral they all head over to Jason's Parents place for a get together sort of thing, its strange but apparently it's a JTF-2 tradition. According to Sam most of these people haven't seen each other in years and most like won't see one and other for quite some time. A long time ago JFT-2 and a bunch of other units made a pack that if they died they wanted something good to come out of it, so they decided to use their funeral as a way to give each other the chance to catch up and hang out. And believe it or not the idea is becoming more and more popular. Apparently it what they will all do when Sam dies too, but **_God _**she does not want to think about _that_ right now.

Sam and her make their way around the house talking to various people, she meets plenty of new people, and in some cases she can finally put a name to a face. She feels like if she says 'hi nice to meet you.' one more time, she is going to puke. Eventually she and Sam work their way over to Jason's father and she asks if there is anything she can do to help. _Cleaning up? Doing dishes? Laundry? _

"Not much dear but thank you for offering, I just have to clean up over there…" he says gesturing to the table a few feet away as he makes an effort to stand up.

"Relax" Jules says easing the man back into his chair "stay in your seat; I can handle that Mr. Moore."

"Dear that sweet but really not necessar -"

"I insist" she says cutting him off. He weakly smiles up at her as she turns and leaves.

"She's a good one Braddock." Mr. Moore comments as he watches her make her way through the crowed to clean up the dirty table.

"I know sir." he replies and the older man looks away from Jules to look at him.

"I mean it, she's keepers don't let her get away."

"She won't, not if I have a say." the old man nods and Sam moves across the room to Jules who is cleaning up the table. He walks up from behind and wraps his arms around her waist, causing her to stop bending over to clean and straighten up right into his embrace; he smiles and plants a kiss on her cheek.

"Not that I'm complaining but why the sudden embrace?" She leans back into him and closes her eyes.

"I was told not to let you get away, and this seems like a fairly good way to do that."

"Mhhmmm. True." She agrees leaning back into him "But you do realize that all I'd have to do to get out of this embrace right now is elbow you and I'd have you pinned in less than 2 seconds." He laughs into her hair and shakes his head.

"That's my girl." He whispers and she smiles. They both turned to the left and see two high ranking officers end their conversation and Sam sighs.

"I should probably go stop by and say hello to General Hastings before he is bombarded by someone else." he states a little annoyed at himself for ruining the moment as he pulls away from their embrace.

"Yeah, that would be the right thing to do." she concludes.

"Join me?" he holds out his hand for hers.

"In a minute" she promises "I'm just going to finish cleaning up here." she say gesturing to the mess in front of her. "Then I'm going call Jess real quick to make sure there isn't anything Sarah needs."

"Of course." he leans in and gives her a quick kiss before heading over towards Hastings.

"Samuel," the general smiles as he approaches "I was being to think I'd never get the chance to say hello to you, how are you?"

"I'm good Sir."

* * *

She walks into the house gently closing the door behind her. She spots Sam from across the room with Jules and she smiles, it's nice not having to worry about Sam all the time because she knows Jules will watch out for him but at the same time it's weird surrendering control over to Jules. It's not that she doesn't trust Jules, cause honestly she does, it's just taking care of Sam and making sure he's okay has been her job for the longest time and honestly she feels weird not being the main person to do it, it's almost like she forgetting to do something. She knows the feeling really has nothing to do with Jules and Sam but more herself and Matt. Jules taking care of Sam is proof that a lot has changed in the past 5 years. And she also knows that it's Matt that is a sign that she need to move on. But she can't, she accepted Matt's death a long time ago, but actually moving on from him? Well that's another story, she has tried once or twice before but it just wasn't the same, he was her one and done and to find love like that again…. Well she doesn't think it possible. And honestly she doesn't wants to.

"Jess, are you okay?" Chris words along with his gentile touch on her arm is enough to shake her from her thoughts as she turns her head back to face him.

"Huh? What-…Oh yeah sorry, I just spaced for a minute." She laughs shaking her head. Chris gives her a fake smile not buying it for a minute. He might not know her and be able to read her as well as Sam but Chris still works with her day in and day out on JTF2 and he can tell the difference between when she is zoning out and thinking about something. Looking for answer he turns his attention to where she was staring a second ago and spots Sam with his arms around Jules over by the food table.

"Ahhhh, Sam I see," he says putting the pieces together. "Feeling replaced?" he jokes and she snorts

"As if! I was just-" Jess starts but Chris puts his hand up to stop her

"You don't have to explain," he cuts her off "I know you guys are not like that, I know it's just your weird over protective _' he no longer my partner but I still think of him as my partner so I need to make sure he is ok'_ protective mode kicking in." Jess shakes her head smiling.

"You know, it's kind of sad how you know that." She replies amused and he shoots her a look.

"No what sad is that when psych evaluations came around and we had to word associations, when the doc said 'Partners' everyone on the team –except the rookies – answered with 'Sam and Jess'." She laughs.

"Touché"

"So what was on your mind?" he asks referring to when he caught her zoned out. She stares up at him, her eyes are full of thousand emotions, and he realizes she's put on the MW face _aka the Matt Waterfelid face _and he tenses. It doesn't happen often but occasionally she zones out and an event or action will make her think of Matt. It's not that she avoids talking about Matt, it's just the opposite, she talk about him all the time, but when she zone out like that normally her thoughts are much deeper than a typical conversation should hold. The guys finally realized what was going on after the first 4 times and agreed that it was better if they didn't question or call her out on it, makes it easier for her. If she wants to talk, she'll talk.

"Sorry I didn't realiz-" he's quick to apologize but she cuts him off.

"Don't worry about it" she waves him off, but he's still looks terrified that he did something wrong so she decides to elaborate. "Chris seriously it's all good, I was just thinking about how much things have changed since Sam meet Jules, how much _he's_ _changed,_ I mean seriously I know you guys all compare it to how Matt changed when we got together but honestly I don't remember Matt falling for me_ **that** _hard." Chris snorts practically spitting out his drink.

"You're kidding right?" he is grinning ear to ear his face clearly amused. "You think Sam isn't just bad as Matt?" he laughs shaking his head, and she just glares at him. "Yeah, Okay. I'm not going to comment because **A** I don't feel like having you kick my ass and **B **if I started this argument we'd be here all night because theirs is_ no way _I am wrong on this one."

"Whatever you say Mr. Know it all." she says in a mocking voice as a smile creeps its way across her face as they both break out laughing.

"Damn straight." he replies in between laughs, after they settled down Chris turns to his left and brings his drink up to his mouth but before he take a sip he makes a subtle gesture to the rookie on the other side of the room, he hasn't been with them long and the teams not convinced yet that he's going to last.

"So how long before he disappears?" she shoots him a glare that says 'leave the boy alone' but he doesn't falter. "Come on Jess, best guess." And she rolls her eyes.

"Are you ever going to grow up?" her tone is serious but the smile is making its way across her face is anything but and he raises his eye brow at her.

"Please, me grow up? Gezzzz Jess it's like you don't know me at all. I'm hurt really." she laughs and turns her head to where she last saw Jules only to not find her.

"My apologies Peter Pan" she Jokes "Hey did you see where Jules went?"

He scans the room but comes up empty.

"No sorry, what afraid she's run for the hills?" he jokes and she smiles.

"Yeah something like that….I'll be back I'm going to go see if I can find her" he nods.

"Tell her I said Hi." it sounds so sincere that she can't help but smile.

"I will" and with that she turns and scans the room and see's Sam talking to General Hastings. _Well it's not Jules, but is a good place to start._

* * *

"So," the general states as he smiles at Sam "Still with the same girl I see, looks like you are finally settling down, I didn't think I'd see the day."

"Yeah." he can't help but smile when he talks about Jules. "She amazing, one hell of a shot two."

"So I've herd. You know, Jess speaks very highly of her."

"I'm glad." The general smiles, because he has seen what it's like when one of Sam girls and Jess don't get along, and it's not pretty. "Have you seen Jess at all?"

"Yes I was talking to her earlier but she left to go drop Sarah off at the hotel with her sister. Though I believe I saw her come in couple minutes ago." the general replies and Sam nods. There a pause in the conversation as they both debate what to say next. The general clears his throat and decides to approach the elephant in the room

"Are you ok Sam?" He may no longer be army but Sam will always be one of his own. It doesn't matter that Sam left 5 years ago and he got promoted to general, he will always feel like a sergeant when it comes to Sam and JTF-2. The feeling is mutual because he always going to be a sergeant to Sam and it probably because as Sargent Hastings felt the need to make sure his men were ok, used to play therapist, he would sit and talk with them about anything that was bothering them, Sam included which is probably why he feels so compelled to answer honestly.

"Yeah, It just doesn't seam real….I just can't believe Jason's gone…. I mean who would have thought of all the people to get caught in a freak accident…it feels like it's some sort of sick TV show…" Sam trails off not really sure what he is saying.

"Well that depends on if you believe that Jason's death was accidental." the general counters and Sam turns to him shocked. San drops his voice so there is no chance of people over hearing them.

"You think Jason's death was intentional?" it comes out as more of a statement than a question and the general stares at him, his way of confirming Sam's thoughts. "Then why didn't you inform the rest of JTF2?" he questions and the general sighs.

"Look I don't know anything for sure, Mister's won't confirm or deny anything and I don't want to miss lead JTF2." He says dropping his voice. "Look All I know is that a couple of months ago Jason came to me with questions, load of them pertaining to old cases, now officially I don't know anything more than that but I saw Jason in and out General Mister's office a lot lately and considering JTF2 only complete one operation for him while overseas, I'd say he was in there a lot. And as far as Mister's not telling JTF2 what happened, well I'd say Mister's isn't talking because he doesn't want Jess involved."

"Jess? What has she has to do with anything?" he asks confused.

"Everything," when Sam doesn't comment the general elaborates. "The cases Jason was asking about, all of them were Matt's" Sam nods, he understand the generals train of thoughts now. He thinks it ridiculous that they would hide it from her, but he understands. Jess was Matt's fiancée and Jason was a close friend and getting her involved with a case that has 2 major sore spots for her could spell trouble. But at the same time Jess in incredibly strong, stronger than anyone he has ever met before and if anyone could remain professional at time like this it's Jess. Hell she did it before when Matt died and the investigators wanted to play 20 questions, they tried everything and anything on her, they try to get her to admit it was his fault and when that failed they try to get her to say that Matt was shady that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time because he was a dirty solider working for the enemy, they tried to get her to admit anything that would allow the blame to not be on the military. But Jess was strong answered every question no matter how ridiculous, defend him, Matt, JTF2, everyone. She just kept repeating that it was no one's fault and that it was just a freak accident. She probably would have stayed all night and answered any and every one of their questions but after 3 hours Sarge and the rest of the team stepped in told them she told them everything she knew and got her the hell out of that room.

"Does Jess know?" it's an honest question, Jess isn't stupid and she is extreme good at reading people and she always seems to know when something is up.

"No, not that I'm aware of, and most likely Mister is going to want to keep it that way, but I could be wrong." Sam nods.

"If there is anything I can do to help-" Sam starts

"I'll drop General Mister's a hint" Hasting cut him off with a smile. "Speaking of Jess…"

Sam looks up just in time to see Jess make her way from next to Chris to across the room towards them.

"Hey sorry am I interrupting?" she asks scrunching her face in the adorable '_please don't kill me I'm cute' _sort of way. And the two flash her a quick smile.

"No, not at all." Sam says smiling at her. "How's Sarah?" Jess's face drops slightly.

"She's ok, she back at the hotel with her sister. I'm going to go check on her again as soon as this is over."

"Jules and I will go with you." Jess looks like she about to protest but she stops herself, Sam isn't offering to be polite, he's offering because he won't feel better until he has checkup on Sarah himself.

"Yeah ok, I'll find you 2 before I leave." she concludes and the general lets out a dry laugh.

"You know you 2 have come a long way since I first met you two, when I first paired you up as partners I though Jess was going to bash your head in and hate your guts, I never would have though you too would be this close and accomplished so much."

"What," she says playfully "In the beginning you couldn't picture us as the best tag team JTF2 has seen in years with the fastest clearing and rescue time to date? Not to mention the countless long range missions complete without a hitch? Gezzz how could you?" She jokes bring up there track record that he loves to rub in their faces whenever there together, tells them if it wasn't for him that it wouldn't be the case. (Honestly she could care less about the statistics all she cares about is getting the job done while keeping her and her team safe.)

"But yeah, as far as hating Sam I can't really blame you there, After all he was one cocky, son of a bitch when I met him." she teases playfully jabbing him in the ribs. And Sam laughs and blocks her hands left and right as she tries to jab him again and again.

"Oh yeah, coming from little miss _'I'm not going to date a single guy here'_, how that work out for you?" he jokes get all up in her face. And she laughs

"Shut up."

Sam smiles because he just won, he will always win with that argument because it's true. She was adamant about not dating anyone from the trails, she was focus on her career and the last thing she need was the guys talking about how good she was in bed, she wanted to be taken seriously. He laughs because he can still remember Matt calling dibs on Jess the second they first laid eyes on her. (To be honest Matt having dibs was probably the only reason he didn't try and pick her up himself and thank god for that.) He can still remember Dave warning Matt to not try, that she was a spit ball of fire not to be messed with, that she was serious about not seeing anyone. For some reason Matt listened and respect that unlike most guys and didn't try to pick her up and the two became tight friends. Then somewhere down the line the lines burred and they became something, and 4 years later Matt put a ring on her left finger.

"Will you two ever grow up?" the general teases.

The both glare at him and he laughs light heartedly. His face become serious when he notices a fellow colleague enters the room. He sighs while he would love to stay and chat with Jess and Sam, that's not how it works.

"Yes, well not to be rude but General Mongomerson has just arrived, so I must be going, Take care." They both nod and say their respective goodbyes for they understand the military politics Hasting has to play now that he general and just like that he's off leaving Jess and Sam alone.

"Hey where is your girlfriend? I've been looking for her." Jess questions the second there alone as she looks around the room for Jules.

"Gezz Jess can you at least say hi to me and pretend to care about my well-being before you deem me unimportant and ask for my girlfriend?" he jokes.

"You know what you're totally right, I'm sorry Sam" she says with surgery sweetness in her voice. "Hi Sam, how your day going? Oh, Sam darling" she says bating her eyes at him as she place her hand on his shoulder "I couldn't help but notice Jules was not with you, would you happen to know her location?" she's grinning and her face is full of amusement as he narrows his eyes.

"Smart ass." he says as a smile works its way across his lips "You think you're funny."

"No, I know I'm funny." she says smiling he laughs and shakes his head.

"She said she was going clear the table over there then call you to see if Sarah need anything, but obviously she hasn't called you yet so if I had to take a guess I'd she probably got rope into conversation with someone from JTF2 when she went to throw that stuff away."

"Well than, we should go find her." she turns to leave but he grabs her arm halting her movements.

"Yeah we should but in a sec, I've haven't been able to talk to you all night, how are you holding up?" he concern is sincere but it is just the exact conversation she wanted to avoid. Jess closes her eyes and sighs.

"Sam." her tone is mixed between complaining and warning.

"No Jess I don't care, I'll have this conversation in front of Jules if that what it comes to." she tugs her arm forward about to protest but Sam keeps his grip and continues looking her in the eyes. "I promised him."

And she sighs because she can't argue there, Matt made Sam promise to look out for her if something were to happen, it wasn't a hard promise to make,he'd do it naturally but it's the one promise that he hasn't broken in all this time and he be damned if he starts now.

"I'm ok." she states and he relaxes his grip "I was pretty shaken up earlier; I didn't expect Jason to die while we were home, but I'm ok now really." He stares her down for another 10 seconds before he decides she is telling the truth and lets her arm go.

"Go find Jules?" he asks.

"You read my mind."

"Thank you" Sam says it as she taking off her earrings and Jules glances up through the mirror to look at him.

"For what?"

"For being here," she places the earring in the jewelry case and turns to walk toward him as he continues staring at her with such love rooted in his spot next to the bed. "For being perfect…for being you."

His voice cracks at the end as she grabs his face with her hands as he rests his forehead on hers. She knows how hard all of this is on him and she is glad to be here for him.

"There's no place I'd rather be." She says and he leans down to capture her lips. After a minute he pulls back.

"You sure about that?" a grin runs across his face "Cause I thought there for a while you were going to leave with Jess and I was going to have the whole bed to myself, which wouldn't make for a very fun night." She lightly slaps his chest.

"Yeah well that's your fault; you don't let me see her enough." He snorts.

"Yeah cause it's my fault her job takes her 50,000 miles away and keeps her away from home for 9 months out of the year"

"Yes. Yes it is." she jokes but then turns serious "I'm glad you're at home with me…. I don't what I do if you weren't home for 9 months out of the year…..I'm just glad I don't ever have to find out" He brings his arms up and wrap them around her.

"Yeah, I'm glad those days are behind me too, I don't think I could handle being away from you for nine months" he whispers in her ear and she leans up to kiss him. As the kiss become more heated he guides her back to the bed to show her just how much he dose love her.

* * *

**End notes: I Know not a lot of Jules and Sam in this chapter, please be patient with me! Please review I'd love to know your thoughts.**


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